two weeks - ep.4

I don't know how well this format is going to stick or if I'm going to edit this at all, but we're going to try it out because it's late and I can't sleep!

Watercolour portraits by b!

Today is Sunday, September 13th, it's probably about 3 in the morning. I can't sleep, so I'm gonna write for a bit and we're gonna see how it goes. I just finished my first two weeks of teacher school and it's been a lot and it has been fantastic, but it has also been very overwhelming. And I, in lying awake in bed, have done some reflecting and realized how much I've changed and grown and learned in the past two weeks.

I feel like I've gone through my first “crisis of faith” and come out the other side, dealing with the big “oh god am i really supposed to be here and doing this thing?”, which is very easily solved by thinking about how I got here and remembering the kind of person I am and reevaluating what things are important to me and just remembering that I have people who love and care about me and that I'm pretty fucking good at what I do. I just need to rember that and have faith in myself because a lot of other people have trust and faith in me.

So I've come out the other side and I've just been absolutely blown away by the number of people I've met in the last 13 days, and the number of classes I've been in and all of the readings I've done. So many readings. Oh my god. The schoolwork's definitely starting to roll on in, but it's been fun. But it's been very challenging in a way that I haven't been challenged maybe ever.

Watercolour goobers.

But I'm learning a lot, and I'm learning a lot about myself, and about the kind of person I am, and the kind of person I want to be, and the kind of teacher I want to be. And that's been really amazing, and fantastic. The first two weeks have been long. I'm currently enrolled in eight classes, which is a lot, seeing as how the most I've ever taken out of time previously to this was five.

I've been biking to school every day, which has been so incredibly nice and a blessing on the way home and the way to school. Some of my days kind of suck, like being on campus from 9 - 7:30, and it's definitely going to suck even more when I have classes that will start in the dark in December and end in the pitch black in December

These last two weeks have been really fantastic and today was sort of a culmination of a lot of that and it's been really nice to look back and celebrate how much effort I've been able to put in. I'm really excited I would be lying out of my ass if I said I wasn't nervous still, but that's kind of the beauty of it.

I can't wait to see what the next 10 and a half months hold. I'm looking forward to it. And I'm feeling very sleepy now. So I should probably try to go back to sleep.

godspeed :)

ps: a lot of you have signed up for this (wow) and i just wanted to say hey! and thank you!

i love my blue milk